Well it’s certainly been an interesting flight. I’m now in Atlanta staying in a hotel for the night. I wasn’t planning on having to get a room here, instead just crash out in the airport. The US has some weird checkin/out policy and I ended up having to pick from about 50 airport hotels to stay at.

So where to begin. Well first off the direct flight to Atlanta was changed to divert via LAX due to some mechanical changes (or so I was told). The last time I was in LAX was 10 years ago and I’m pretty sure it was a fairly easy experience. I even took some Aztec Axe thing through their security on my way back from Mexico, and the Xray guy screening my luggage didn’t even bat an eyelid. Of course then September 11 happened, blah blah, and now everything has changed.

We begin with arriving in LAX in the wee hours of 6:30am. It didn’t appear the staff were told that not only was there a full plane flying in from Sydney, but also at the same time another full plane from Brisbane. The staff didn’t know what to do, holding everyone up before passport control and only allowing a handful of people through at a time. They started calling out for people connecting to the 8:30am flying to Atlanta, which was responded by just about everyone waiting. Amazingly the girl kept calling out for them, which almost started a riot as clearly she wasn’t listening or just didn’t get that everyone was waiting to connect to this flight. This lead to the US line going into revolt and splitting into a new line, so the next time she called out for Atlanta connecting flight people, she was meet with the entire line shouting at her the entire fucking line is for Atlanta. 

Eventually I got through, only to be met with another line. Because the line was so long out of passport control, everyone just assumed this was the line to stand in. That was until an Aussie couple had a look into the room and asked the guard whether they can join the much shorter line that was out of sight. The guard laughed and said sure they can, but they’ll get stuck because it’s for non US citizens. The couple replied that they’re visitors, and the guard laughed again and said oh yeah they can totally use that line. Yup the visitors line was a quarter of the size of the US citizen line, but no help from the guards to direct people. 

Waiting… waiting… waiting…. and finally at passport control. Even though I had no intentions to stay in the US, you still need a visa waiver because they make you check all your baggage out and back in again. And of course that means you have to go back through the security screening again. It’s a highly impressive waste of time. 

I’m pretty sure the passport control guy I got was ex-military. Possibly on dishonourable discharge. Everything was an order… fingers on scanner…. THUMB…. fingers on scanner….. THUMB!! As soon as Ecuador was mentioned he wrote it on my arrival card and was clearly suspect of me. Just as I was about to leave he said, complete with army drill Sargent voice, YOU BETTER NOT HAVE ANYTHING IN THAT BAG I’LL REGRET LETTING YOU THROUGH, DO YOU??? I almost laughed… it was one of those absurd Seinfeld moments where it was just too surreal to be real. Wisely I held back and said it was all good and left. 

As I walked away the last thing I heard from him was a bark of NEXT!

Thinking things couldn’t get weirder I hit up Customs. I can only surmise here the customs officer and the passport control guy have a Funniest Home Videos thing going on together. In all the countries I’ve travelled Customs are always the easiest. The usual questions… any fruit, vege, anything you’d like to declare? No no nope. Where you staying in LA? I’m not, in transit with a connecting flight to Atlanta in an hour. Where you staying in Atlanta? Well I wasn’t intending too, just chill in the airport until I fly out to Ecuador tomorrow. I see, you’re going to Ecuador, what for? I start to explain travelling through South America, he loses interest – what did you do your hand? Burnt it on soup. Here? No at home 3 weeks ago. Still hurts? Not really (show him the burn mark). Don’t you have any bags? Yeah my backpack. Then where is it? I lift it up from in front of the counter to eye level. Where are you staying in LA (asked me a second time!)? I’m not, I’m on the 8:30 to Atlanta. He suddenly looks frustrated, puts his hands through his hair and looks across at the other Customs officer. He’s busy and can’t make eye contact, and his gaze falls back to me. 

Fine. Go.

I grab my pack and get the hell out of there. Thankfully the rest of the journey into Atlanta was normal. Not sure if Sydney International has this, but Atlanta as a bus area for hotels that are close to the airport. There’s a wall of courtesy phones with codes you can dial for each hotel to book a room. Really handy for people like me that weren’t planning on a night. However there’s about 50 to choose from! 

Also just on Atlanta Airport, this is got to have the greatest concentration of fast food outlets in one airport in the world. I walked the entire length of the airport rather than catching the train, and it’s phenomenal just how many there are for each concourse. Never seen anything like it before. 

Despite with weirdos at LAX, the flight with Delta was great. Their food is a bit lame, but the aircraft I was on kept me entertained for almost the entire 13 hour flight. And you’re looking at the top Trivia champion on the plane (I might have been the only one playing it, though. Might!).